Troy Aikman is selling ‘fire suites,’ which are exactly what they sound like

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Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman still makes a pretty penny hanging out in the broadcast booth, but that doesn’t mean he’s without some off-field business ventures.

And one of them has me extremely upset.

Not because it’s bad, but because I didn’t think of it.

Do you like concerts? Of course you do.

MEET THE MAN WHO BROUGHT THE ENERGY TO PBR STAMPEDE DAYS IN NASHVILLE

Do you like sitting around a fire with some pals? Who doesn’t?!

Well, what if you could sit around a fire at a concert, and all it would cost you is $480,000 for a suite with four seats and a fire pit, but you can rent it out for some sweet, sweet (suite?) passive income?

Now you can with a genuine “Luxe Fire Suite” from the folks at Venu… who run venues.

FORMER NFL STARS EXPRESS IMPORTANCE OF RESPONSIBLE GAMBLING, PLAYING AMID THE RISE IN SPORTS BETTING

Take it away, Troy!

I am so disappointed in myself.

The last time I went to a concert, I had the chance to say, “Hey, what if there were a bunch of fires in the audience like it’s Woodstock ’99, but we toned it down so it’s nothing like Woodstock ’99, and we charge people about half a million dollars and up for it.”

That’s why I’m just a very handsome writer and not an entrepreneur.

But good for Troy for throwing his money behind this endeavor, because I think it’s brilliant.

ESPN commentator Troy Aikman walking on the field at Arrowhead Stadium

We’ve had fire since the first caveman rubbed two sticks together as a goof and accidentally became one of history’s greatest visionaries.

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

Now, someone is taking his idea and running with it, and they’ve got Troy Aikman giving it his stamp of approval.

People will eat this up.

Taylor Swift watching an NFL football game from a suite inside Arrowhead Stadium

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Think how much you can one-up someone who owns a suite that you can’t light a fire in?

“…Oh, you have a suite as well, eh? Tell me, where is the fire pit in yours? …Ah, I’m sorry, I was under the impression you also had a genuine Venu brand Luxe Fire Suite. Well, we all need something to aspire to. Uh, Jeeves, another round of cognac, please. Here’s to open flames at concerts…”

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