NFL All-Pro Kyle Juszczyk is doomed to a fate worse than death on cross-country flight

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I’ve talked about it at length several times before, and I know I’m not breaking any ground here, but flying commercial these days absolutely sucks.

You have to arrive two hours before your flight even boards to deal with the hordes of unwashed patrons, the airlines nickel and dime you for everything, and half the time the Wi-Fi doesn’t even work, so if you came unprepared for that then you better be ready to stare at the back of a faux leather seat or an instruction manual for a few hours.

If I had the means, I would never fly commercial again.

It would be all private charter jets or, at the very least, first class on a really upscale airline.

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Interior of an airplane cabin showing rows of seats along the aisle

That’s why I was shocked to see All-Pro fullback Kyle Juszczyk boarding a five-hour flight for parts unknown yesterday on X.

What’s worse, his wife stuck him in a middle seat, which is basically a fate worse than death.

Oh, right, you “accidentally” got him a middle seat on a five hour flight. Sure, Kristin.

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For context, Juszczyk is a 6-foot-1, 235-pound behemoth whose knees probably feel like broken shards of glass at this point in his life.

I’m 5 feet 10 inches, 160 pounds and have two perfectly functioning knees, and even I would be cursing my wife’s existence if she stuck me in between two complete strangers on a cross-country flight.

It really makes you think, what did Kyle do to get put in Kristin’s doghouse that badly?

It would be bad enough normally, but with the recent news that Spirit Airlines has gone belly up, you have no idea what budget airline castoff you just potentially stuck your husband next to.

Spirit Airlines Airbus A-320 departing Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas

Luckily, the people on either side of him seem like normal, functioning human beings, but you can never be too sure.

I would suggest that Juszczyk with all his career earnings just fly private next time, but it’s not in his fullback nature.

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It’s a true gritty move to sit amongst the common folk on an airplane.

That’s why he was an All-Pro. He stuck his facemask into the teeth of some of the most fearsome linebackers of his era.

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San Francisco 49ers fullback Kyle Juszczyk talks with running back Christian McCaffrey on the sideline at Levi's Stadium

He’s not afraid of some airline riffraff, though he does seem a little miffed at his current predicament.

Let’s all pray the Juszczyks arrived at their destination safe and sound, and hope that whatever Kyle did to get Kristin to throw him into the metaphorical fire feet first, she has forgiven him for.

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